Children

There are certain stipulations by which our society lives. Its taken us time but we've made efforts towards creating a delicate balance of equality between men and women. Women can now hold most of the same jobs as men. We are afforded the same benefits, such as insurance and 401k plans. We are almost compensated at the same level. Almost. However there is one item that tips the scales in favor of men (or women depending on your view). Women are still afforded certain benefits if they become pregnant. And this fact changes the perspective on everything.

Now, even in an era that promotes sexual awareness/education and the ability of a woman to choose when she becomes pregnant, having children is still considered something you're supposed to do. Which becomes a difficult situation for those of us who don't want to.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why don't you want kids?"

".....Because I don't."

It's a conversation that few seem to be able to accurately grasp. Instead they respond with answers like:

"Oh you're too young. You will later." - Is there some specific day on which the "I-Want-To-Have-Children-Now" hormone kicks in? Am I, and educated woman, supposed to simply let my body's hormones control my decision making process. I don't spend three days out of the month gorging myself and hurling insults at those around me - and if I did would society make exceptions for that kind of behavior? The very thing that defines us as being more than simply animals is our ability to make decisions based on logic and reason, not just savage instinct or flaring hormones.

"You aren't mature enough to want children." - I'm sorry but getting married at 18 and popping out 6 children that you have neither the means to support nor the education to raise doesn't seem like a very mature line of thought to me.

"But babies are so much fun!" - Is this the materialist, buying new baby clothes every day, taking dozens of professional portraits, showing off to my friends side that's coming out? If I chose to have a child I wouldn't do so merely to have a new accessory to hang off my hip.

The truly frustrating part of all of this is that people simply don't understand. Now please don't misunderstand. I think it's great that there are women out there who believe that life is a precious gift for them to bring into this world and consider it a blessing that they can have children. That's absolutely wonderful. I have great respect for the women who choose to do so. I watched my mother raise three children (one of whom is hearing impaired) by herself - god knows its not an easy task by any standard. However, even though I can appreciate the selflessness these women show by wanting to take care of another human being, I'm just not one of them. It's nothing to do with a career, or selfishness, or fear. I simply have no desire to bring a child into this world. I don't think I'm qualified to be a parent and given the state our environment is in I can't justify bringing a child into an environment that may not even be habitable for their life span. It just feels wrong.

What really concerns me is that there are other women out there, with the same ideals, who instead of recognizing their choice for what it is -a choice, end up believe that there is something wrong with them because they don't have that maternal instinct whispering in their ear. What I want to know is why we can't let others make their own choices and accept them as they are?

The Crazy Ones

Parents are such interesting creatures. I'm not really sure when parenting became a hobby/pastime in our society, but I'm going to assume it was around the same time that the breed of psychotically obsessed, my-child-will-win-the-beauty-pageant-damn-it, crazymommybloggers developed. Now I have nothing against the mommy-blogging culture. In fact I think its great that there are families out there that get along well enough that they can stand still for pictures and find time to post said pictures on sunflower decorated blogs without taking any form of cheeriness-inducing medication. I'm also jealous of the constant stream of writing material that a hyper four year old must provide. However, that being said, its the crazy mommy bloggers that scare me. The ones that update every fifteen minutes, and write eerie posts about how much they loooooooooove their kids. First of all taking pictures of every-single-thing your child does all day long is such a ridiculous waste of camera space that it should be banned completely. No one (not even the fake-ly adoring, well-manicured, botoxed mother in law) cares quite that much, that we need a constant stream of information regarding Jane's new habit of eating the fridge magnets, or Robbie's recent taking to gift-wrapping the cat. Secondly, if you really do love your children to that extent shouldn't you be spending time with them instead of typing obnoxiously long paragraphs, filled with aggressive run-on sentences, explaining that yes you do love your children, as evidenced by all the photographs, new presents, and lengthy posts, - regardless of what child services has to say. It's the creepy stage mothers like this that give all the well meaning, family oriented blogs a bad name.

Lizzy

P.S. I'm doing some techie work on the blog so if anything looks weird or doesn't work right please let me know! Thanks much.