Monday, October 27, 2008

Just Lizabell

This blog is now located at

At that address you will be able to find all my recent updates, posts, and means of contacting me. Please switch your RSS subscription over to that site using the links that are provided.


Elizabeth Marie

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Feed Part II

Ok one more reminder to everyone to update their feed!

You can go here to change to my feedburner feed.

For those of you that have already subscribed please make sure your feed address is set to: (all lowercase)

as there has been some confusion in this area. Clearly I suck at the whole RSS things.

This is what I get for switching domains. *le sigh* It will all be worked out soon!

Thanks guys.

Also can anyone please notify me via the contact page if they are having feed issues? Thanks a million.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The New Feed

I've had a few people tell me they were having some problems with my RSS feed so let me just throw out another quick reminder.

The sites' original feed has changed so all of you who were subscribing to my old feed, which looks like this:

will not be able to see any of my updates. : (

So. To avoid such chaos/misfortune please remember to subscribe to my new feed:

Which is actually still my old feed just with the new site backing it up. But never mind that. Just make sure you are on the up and up with the new feed.

Thanks much!

Monday, October 20, 2008

The New Just Lizabell

Ok everyone I have an announcement to make! But before I do let me first say sorry for the lack of regular posting for the last little while. I've been doing some pretty hefty design work and unfortunately it left me with very little time to write - let alone sleep. However the results are well worth it.

So without further ado...

May I present: Just Lizabell - New & Improved!

The blog has undergone some serious redesigning (but I managed to keep in all the things I loved about it in the first place) and I'm happy to say that it's new look is here to stay.

As much as I've loved being on blogger and the blogger community itself, Just Lizabell has grown beyond my expectations and because of that I think it deserves to have a more permanent type of home. So anyone that is running of my blogger feed please redirect it to:

And please note that there is also a new feed for comments!

Later this week I will be changing my blogger url so that it redirects to the new site to avoid any confusion! Also I have a new email address at which you can inquire about the new site if need be. Please do so at: contact[at]justlizabell[dot]com.

Thanks so much for everyones patience while I get the blog switched over.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Plasma TV For The Puppy

Ok I couldn't help but put this picture up. I walked around the corner out of my room this morning and this is what I saw:

Yea that's my puppy. And yes he's watching the fish in our fish tank. Nope it's not enough to watch me run around the house like an idiot trailing his toy rabbit behind me shouting "IT'S PETER COTTONTAIL TIME!" He has to watch the two fish (both roughly the size of a jellybean) swim back and forth from one end to the other of our ridiculously over sized tank.

Love you too Sam.

(Almost) Naked Chicken

Fun fact: My mom is a vegetarian. And I was too - for many years (much to the disdain of the rest of my family). It's a lifestyle I don't mind in many ways as I would much rather have a salad than a burger any day but it can also be rather challenging at times. It makes eating out extremely difficult. It was a practice I gave up when I moved into my fathers home after my sixteenth birthday - mostly because I knew it wouldn't be accommodated - but it's still something my mother holds fast to. She'll cook non-vegetarian dishes for the rest of us and just make separate little things for herself. And even though I'm more than aware of all the health/environmental benefits of it I've never been particularly tempted to take up vegetarianism again - until last night.

My mother was kind enough to pick up a chicken for us to roast yesterday at the store but upon bringing it home and opening it up to clean it we found this:

Yea - those are feathers. Yep. FEATHERS. Ew.

Is there not like a big long process in which all the chicken resembling parts of the chicken are REMOVED for the health/sanity of us chicken consumers?

My precondition with food is that it must not look like whatever animal it formerly called itself. I don't want to know.

I just about died upon seeing this. And just as I was gaining my composure enough to be able to take this picture my mom looks over her shoulder and goes:

"Hey [Little Brother] - will you go get the pliers?"

At which point I ran from the room, covering my mouth, and trying not to gag.

However I am now an expert on what it sounds like when an already dead chicken is plucked. Yeah. There's a sound.

I'll be spending the next week eating nothing but muffins and cornflakes - thank you very much.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Blog Action Day 2008

*Blog Action Day is a specific day of the year on which bloggers from across the world come together in an effort to raise awareness on a specific issue. This years issue is Poverty. This is my contribution.*

Remember in grade school how, when discussing other countries, our teachers would always refer back to that survey that demonstrated the wealth of the average person in America compared to the average wealth of the rest of the world? The one that shows that we Americans were among the richest people in the world merely because we owned a refrigerator, had more than one pair of shoes, or had access to clean drinking water on a daily basis.

I remember how our teacher would hand out different slips of colored paper and tell us all to stand on top of our chairs. Most of the class had yellow, pink, or green slips. A few had blue. Only one other kid had a red slip like mine. She explained that the yellow, pink and green slips demonstrated the different levels of poverty in which most people were living and told us that if our class was a small scale representation of the world everyone with one of these slips was living in an impoverished country. She asked those people to sit down. Over two thirds of my classmates quietly took their seats.

"Those people," my teacher told us "are the people that do not have clean water, safe food, or a house to live in. They don't have access to doctors and medicine when they're sick. They don't get to come to school like you do. They probably wont live as long as you will." She turned to the students holding blue strips. "Those of you that have blue papers are living in developed countries. You have safe houses, decent schools, some medical care, and a government that provides some benefits for you." With a nod from our teacher those children took their seats too.

Finally, she turned to look at me and the other girl that was still standing. "You two are from countries like America where you can have the best schooling available, be taken care of by the best doctors, and maintain a lifestyle that many people in the world could never dream of. You can own a car, new clothes, a big house, toys, and books. You have heating, indoor plumbing, and many other things that are considered luxuries to most of the world. The people like you amount to less than five percent of the world yet they own more than ninety percent of the worlds wealth." And that was when she looked me right in the eye and said "Don't you think we should share?"

Poverty is, and always will be, an issue of extreme importance but its devastating effects have been brought into the limelight recently by economical failures spanning our globe. It's common knowledge that both the American and the Canadian economy have not been doing well lately. People everywhere are in constant fear of losing their jobs, their homes, and their savings. It's terrifying to think about but the worst part of it is that it could all have been prevented. I truly believe that if it wasn't for the strong few who prey on the many that are weak we could have avoided a financial crisis like the one we're in now. If it wasn't for large corporations and billionaire CEO's that just can't have enough and choose to find ways to cut costs that deplete our markets, raise inflation, and leave so many jobless - without even a pension to get them by - maybe we might have been able to stop this from happening. If it wasn't for all the greed upon which our nation runs then maybe our unemployment rates wouldn't be so high and our citizens would be happier. If health care wasn't just another opportunity to make money, to cheat a patient out of something he needs in an effort to keep more money in the investors pockets, perhaps our country could enjoy the riches of being safe and healthy.

Just last night Crayon and I had a discussion over what we would both be doing to support ourselves financially and how that would affect where we live and when we get married. We talked about what kind of options we had with our careers and what choices we could make that would allow us to live comfortably - without the cloud of financial stress hanging over our heads. And it was then that I remembered standing up on that chair in school with all my classmates looking up at me and how I wondered if I was going to be one of the lucky few that didn't spend life worrying about whether or not I would be able to make rent or buy groceries that month. I didn't want to have to choose between three meals a day or college textbooks. I don't want to have to suffer through a career I despise for the sake of being able to fill up my gas tank every week. And most importantly I don't want Crayon to spend forty hours a week doing something he doesn't love just for money.

The amount of poverty that resides in our nation spreads far beyond our bank accounts and affects every aspect of our lives, from where our children attend school, to what kind of car we drive, to whether or not we can even afford to see the doctor once a year and unfortunately it's something that can't be fixed over night - but it can be fixed. So tonight, if you choose to watch the presidential debate, I urge you to do so not only with an open mind but with the welfare of those less fortunate than ourselves as your prime concern. Let us not elect a president who will, driven by greed, bring our country farther into debt and farther from accomplishing the goals that are important to the American people, but instead put in power a man who will start from the bottom helping those in the most dire of circumstances first and leave the corporate bailouts in the past where they belong. Let this election be a turning point for our society and a chance to eliminate poverty in every form.

*Blog Action Day 2008*
*Vote Obama 2008*

Monday, October 13, 2008

Christmas In October!

This is the picture I took before I went down to Salt Lake last weekend:

Prettyness right? Everything is green enough that you can tell Fall is just starting to show her colors. While taking this picture I was all excited for leaf fights and caramel covered apples. I was hoping Fall would stick around for a few months this year. Clearly, The Weather had other plans.

This is what I came home to:

Not cool. Not cool at all.

*Please excuse this brief intermission of actual writing while I download every Christmas song I can think of and decorate my room with red/green crepe paper THREE MONTHS in advance*

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Stress & The Yellow Canary In The Hat

The other day I was sitting at my laptop, writing a for the blog, when I was rudely interrupted by a chirping noise - coming from my ceiling.

That's never good.

I went to investigate and found nothing. However I did discover the culprit of a very obnoxious - albeit entirely separate - tapping noise. Mr. Woodpecker seems to have opened up spare whittling shop directly under the awning of my house. Unfortunately his hours happen to be exactly whenever I am working/writing/sleeping.

Since then I've decided that there is very much a small bird living inside some little space in the roof of my house. Which frankly, I've come to think, is pretty damn nifty. I like to consider him my little pet. He sits up high and watches me write and throws out little chirps of encouragement. Or so I like to believe. I think he's probably yellow and wears a red and white polka dot hat. My little yellow canary bird in a hat. (Apparently I've graduated from having imaginary friends but not pets. Nice.)

This little bird has also become somewhat of a metaphor for the way I've been thinking about my life lately. He has it all figured out. He probably has a mostly stress-free life. The area I live in is pretty wildlife friendly (the house cats tend to be rather tame and most dogs are kept indoors) so I doubt my little bird is having any Jason Bourne like chase scenes in his day-to-day existence. He has a constant food source. I know this for a fact because every time it rains the entire worm population in the tri-state area congregates on my front sidewalk and sings Christmas carols regardless of the season. Rain today? Yea well: BOOM. WORM SONGTIME.

Plus this bird also has an endless amount of entertainment. He can watch Sammy (the puppy) get chased by Little Brother, Little Sister, and Zoey - the evil dog. He can watch my mom have fits when she can't figure out something that's written in her textbook. And he can also while away his hours watching me at various times curse, hug, pet, and stare dreamily at my laptop (the last one is only when there's a picture of John Krasinski on it. Or something shiny. Or a Kindle.)

And all of this got me to thinking. I want a stress free life. My dentist says that I grind my teeth while I sleep - something to do with stress/how I lay when I sleep/my diet/exercise/the air/allergies and basically anything even remotely medical-ly sounding. However apparently if I was less stressed I would have fewer headaches and pointier teeth so that has become my new goal of late. Less Stress = Utopia Based Lifestyle. Or something like that.

Except that lovely God-like command isn't as easy as it sounds. You know just because the booming voice spouts off one day with "BE LESS STRESSED OR I WILL SMITE YOU IN SUCH A WAY THAT YOU WILL BE EVEN MORE STRESSED MWAHAHAHA" doesn't mean I can just magically poof and be all happy go lucky. Because, frankly, my life is a bit stressful.

Not that I'm not completely blessed. Because I am. I'm young, I have pretty great health, I have a family and friends that adore me, and I'm lucky enough to have found an amazing man who cares about me as much as I care about him. So overall I try really hard not to complain. But when it comes to matters like the economy, figuring out how to pay for college, trying to write my book, and ultimately finding some way to move back down to Salt Lake to be closer to the fiance things tend to get a bit overwhelming - and as a result - stressful.

So what I would really like is to be like my little bird that sits up in the ceiling watching things with a detached perspective. It doesn't bother him if maybe my website isn't working one day or if I didn't manage to get up as many posts as I would have liked one week. He's just happy to be safe and warm and able to chirp without anyone getting after him (which I've warned my family away from by threat of using the blender at 6 am on a regular basis - you want sleep? the bird stays).

I think the most important thing to remember is that my little bird also doesn't get stressed about being stressed which, remarkably enough, is something I've been known to do. Because when it really comes down to it I'll figure out how to pay for college. I'll get my website up and running soon enough. I'll find a job and an apartment down in Salt Lake in good time. Maybe it wont work out according to my timeline or the way I planned but it will all eventually work out. And that's what really matters.

I think my little yellow canary in the hat is a pretty good example for how I should try to live my life.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Ghost Busters

Let me preface this post by sharing a neat fact about me.

(Ok not so much neat as a total pain. But anyways.)

I am afraid of everything. Like EVERYTHING. Not in a paranoid/might possibly need medication sort of way - but more in a worry-some/worst case scenario type of way. For example:

- I'm afraid of being electrocuted/hit by lightening.
- I'm afraid of me or anyone I know getting getting in a car accident. (This particularly applies to the fiance who drives WAY too fast. You know its true Crayon.)
- I'm afraid of earthquakes/fires/tornadoes/floods and I guarantee that when I buy insurance for my first home whatever sales guy I purchase from is going to be damn happy he went into work that day as my "Every Feasible Disaster That Might Occur Even If Your Climate Only Makes Half Of Them A Possibility" package will probably pay for a trip for every single one of his children into the Happy Land of Orthodontia.
- I'm afraid of all bugs and anything that has more than four legs. Or no legs.
- I'm afraid of getting food poisoning (This is only because I've had it fairly recently though - Note to all Utahns - Stay Away From "Ocean City".)
- I'm afraid of getting some sort of disease/illness or of having anyone I know get one.

But first and foremost the thing that I'm probably the most terrified of - is dying. Which, according to all those weird studies I Google when I can't sleep at night, is pretty common. Simply because we are a society cultivated on the idea that we can and should plan for every possible outcome in our life. Except that doesn't really work with matters like death and the afterlife because we really just don't know how it all shakes down after we're dead and gone. And I, like many others I know, just don't like that. Ignorance is never bliss. And what it really comes down to is the kinds of beliefs you hold - particularly your religious beliefs.

Religion is something I've never really discussed on this blog, partly because I don't want to offend anyone and partly because I haven't seen enough of life to seriously commit myself to any one set of beliefs, but when it comes to death the two seem to go hand in hand. I grew up in a Mormon (LDS- the majority religion in Utah) household and while my family was attending church I always had the idea of Heaven (or possibly Hell - depending on how much of my Mom's perfume I had "borrowed" that week) to fall back on whenever my worries crept up on me. Since then most of my family has become "inactive" (Mormon lingo for: we don't go to church anymore) and while that's perfectly fine with me, as I was never terribly attached to the church and didn't lament the lack of its presence in my life, it has left me without a solid set of answers to turn to when I inevitably start to worry about how quickly my life is moving and what I have to face when its over. And because I have no real solid evidence one way or the other (afterlife vs. unconsciousness) I have no means of satisfying the little bug in my head that likes to remind me of these things at the worst possible moment. He wants answers and I have none to give him. Except not everyone has this problem. And when I say not everyone who I really mean is the Fiance.

When Crayon and I first started dating he let me in on a little fun fact. Apparently his house, and specifically the basement of said house, is haunted. Which is pretty cool. Now before you start rolling your eyes and using words like "poppycock" let me provide a little insight. Crayon cannot lie. He simply cannot do it. The few times he has tried to lie to me (concerning presents, surprises, and other such matters) he pretty much fails at it entirely. He grins, talks in this falsetto type voice, and can't maintain any form of eye contact. The whole thing is rather cute. And when I catch him at it -he blushes relentlessly- but he'll deny that to the ends of the earth.

The point is that if anyone else told me that their basement was haunted and had given me the examples he has I would have told them that they were full of it and probably refused to text them for a few days as punishment for trying to pull a fast one on me. Except Crayon can't lie. Which brings me to this whole new kind of realization. If Crayon can't lie and has told me that he's seen/heard a ghost in his house, then does that mean that "ghosts" actually are real (in some form or another -that is)? And if there is such a thing as a "ghost" does that also mean that there is some type of awareness after we die?

Frankly all of this tends to make my head hurt and also makes me a tad more stressed out soooo (because you guys *rocked* with all of your Tv suggestions - seriously my desk calendar is actually being USED now. it's pretty awesome) I would like to know if anyone else either believes in ghosts or has had any kind of ghost-like experiences. Any sort of insight is appreciated here - and if you think the whole ghost dealio is total bullshit that too would be helpful to know in its own way. If I get some good responses I'll do a follow up post with the best stories and (after I get Crayon's approval) I'll share some of what he's told me about his basement dwelling ghost. Oh - and if you don't want to share your story in the comment section (for personal/anonymity reasons or otherwise) or just think it would be easier to type up elsewhere feel free to email me instead. (See contact info ----->).

Thanks guys. Looking forward to your responses.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Must See Tv

We all have our little addictions in life. Some of us live off of Ben & Jerry's, others over indulge at Barnes & Noble, and still others cannot resist buying yet another set of expensive lingerie (obviously none of these apply to me. *ahem*).

However. The tried and true addiction that has taken over the entire country is Must See Tv (of which I have created my own definition). Hah. You thought I was going to say Palinsanity didn't you?

Must See Tv (as defined by me - omg rhyme!): Must See Tv is any Tv show which the general public of the U.S. finds itself addicted to regardless of production length, plot quality, or character depth.

Here are some examples - but before anyone freaks out just know that I'm not saying any of these shows are bad per se. Just that they've taken over our weekday evenings. And I may or may not be planning my schedule around some of them.

Examples: Heroes, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, House, The Hills, Dexter, and the most awesomely awesome show out there - The Office!

Yes. I admit it. I absolutely adore The Office. I didn't start watching it until the third season was under way but upon discovering I was hooked and subsequently had to spend an entire weekend catching up on the first two seasons I had missed.

I love the relationships between all the characters (not necessarily pleasant in some cases) and the interaction that takes place. The Office is maybe one of the best shows ever made. In my personal opinion it's also much better than its UK parent - which I found dull, hard to follow, and with lackluster dynamics between characters.

However with my extreme love of The Office taking over any available Tv time I might have - I'm worried that I'm possibly missing out on other great television and that when I rejoin society (Read: Salt Lake) I'll be totally and completely out of the loop and with little clue as to why everyone is talking about some guy named House and some girl named Peyton. Essentially I need more Must See Tv that I must see.

So this is where you guys come in! If you happen to watch/know of/ADORE any particular Tv show please leave a comment and tell me which one it is. I am determined to spend more time glued to my couch and am willing to take any help I can get in accomplishing such matter.

And for those of you that would have suggested The Office here are some pictures to tie you over. (Until Thursday - that is.)

Monday, October 6, 2008


Yesterday I got caught spying on my neighbors.

I'm not really a spying kind of girl I'm just very curious. Which is code for "I was REALLY bored and couldn't bring myself to leave the house in search of more interesting forms of entertainment."

I wasn't intentionally spying. I didn't have some little command station set up at my kitchen window in hopes of seeing some unlucky individual exit their house in such a manner that I felt the need to snatch up my binoculars and frighten the poor person to death. In fact I hadn't even consciously decided I was going to spy. It just sort of happened to me. Much like how a really bad outfit can sort of just happen to you. Maybe you didn't plan it - or maybe all of its pieces looked great on their own - but together this little outfit is by and far something that should never happen again.

I was the victim here of this unfortunate mischance. The victim I tell you. Not that I'm "playing the victim" for those of you that subscribe to those types of notions - merely that sometimes people find themselves in situations beyond their control and are, as a result, victimized by their circumstances (and not their subconscious). And it was in one of these situations that I found myself when I stood up from the small computer workstation I've assembled on the floor of my living room and happened to be standing directly in front of the window - out of which I could see my next door neighbors arguing out on their front lawn.

Now Utah is like the poster child/state for "Don't Wash Your Dirty Laundry In Public." The people here are largely Mormon and as a result they tend to be very private with not only their personal affairs but their lives in general. They gossip incessantly but never actually confront each other with the information they are privy to. They also happen to be especially wary of us "Non-Mormon's". My family doesn't attend church - hasn't since I was in middle school and because of this we are somewhat removed from our neighborhood social circle. I know my neighbors on the left have too many cats, an obnoxious redheaded daughter, and are going through a divorce. My neighbors on the right are teachers, travelers, and I suspect them of having a sex life akin to that of a twenty-something PR bachelor (they have a video camera that sits in their window - information I could have lived without).

So of course when I see my Neighbors Of The Left arguing in such a public fashion I do what any normal person would. I stand there and stare like some sort of dumb turkey. It's like when there's a nearby fire and the entire county gets in their cars and goes and drives towards it even though all of our smart-people-instincts are telling us that its probably not a good idea to head in the direction that the twenty-foot flames are spewing from.

Regardless of the fact that I am actually a somewhat capable/intelligent person, when I stood up and saw this man and woman arguing outside I literally could not stop myself. I had to stand there and watch. Which is exactly what I did. Except I also moved up closer to the window and pressed my nose up against the glass in an effort to hear more - my theory here being that if you're going to watch the cheesy soap opera you might as well full-on watch it - and not just let it play while the TV is muted.

I don't know exactly where the conscious part of my brain went (maybe it went to its therapy session so it could understand why I was behaving in such a ridiculous fashion) but where ever it was - it wasn't doing it's job. So when the man, who is still chewing out his wife for one reason or another, turns and looks at me (Face: Still Pressed Into Glass) I didn't immediately realize that oh yea - he's looking at me. Moments later - brain came back from therapy and figured out that OH SHIT HE'S LOOKING AT ME. At which point I proceed to drop to the floor like some sort of retarded sloth that woke up on the wrong side of the tree branch.

I haven't felt that dumb in a really long time. It's actually kind of refreshing. However I topped it by feeling even more stupid as I crawled out of my living room on my hands and knees (to avoid being seen by Arguing Man, his wife, or anyone else who could laugh at me) into my bedroom where I spent the remainder of the night contemplating the fact that I could never leave my house again.

This is what happens when I'm left alone for the weekend with no one to talk to but the Puppy.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Me Vs. The Weather

For some reason all the really chaotic things that happen in my life tend to revolve around water. I've been attacked by sprinklers and the car wash, I'm a terrible swimmer and I really don't appreciate it when my hair gets all rained on and turns icky. Whenever there is any form of precipitation whatsoever I always seem to end up mumbling curses at the weather under my breath while trying to soak up the 4 pints of water that have taken hold in my ponytail. Not really my idea of a fun afternoon. So today when it started raining and I knew I'd have to take the puppy out and that it would be a while (for some reason it seems to take EIGHT HOURS for him to go to the bathroom) I decided to get all smart about it. I donned a bright pink raincoat and gloves and was determined not to get wet. The Weather did not appreciate this and thus began plotting to ruin my day.

Here's where the The Weather first decided to get crafty. Two doors up from my house there is a family that also owns a Shih Tzu (my puppy, Sammy, is far cuter though - just for the record). This little dog is named Zoey. He is possibly the meanest dog in the world. I swear when that dog looks at me I can just hear it making all kinds of condescending remarks about how one shouldn't go hunting for the paper in the morning with hair that looks like she just spent four hours bouncing around in an inflatable castle while rubbing a balloon on her head. To which my response is "Well you have GREEN ribbons in your hair. And I'm pretty sure you're a boy! And green is sooooooo a girl color now." followed by me sticking my tongue out at Zoey who just laughs because he knows I'm scaring all the morning joggers.

The Weather - being as smart as it is - also knows that Sammy is absolutely terrified of Zoey. Sammy is still a fairly small puppy and he gets nervous around any type of animal that isn't either a fish or an earthworm as he thinks the former is entertainment and the latter is lunch. I also may or may not have had to throw a rock at the neighbors' cat because it was chasing him. So of course right when Sammy and I head out the door for our Morning Walk/I Think I'll Run Circles Around Every Tree I Can Find While I Try And Pee On Them At The Same Time gig - here comes Zoey, shooting out if his house like a cannon and booking it straight towards Sammy and I. This is probably the only time where my dog and I have had the exact same thought at the same moment because I swear the second we saw that little black and white hairball running at us we both looked at each other with an "Oh shit." sort of face and started running towards the picnic table that across the street from the house.

In retrospect it would have been far more intelligent to just go back inside the house. But nooo. I didn't get the "Think On Your Feet" gene. Thank you mom - for keeping that and the ability to use electrical appliances without setting off the fire alarm ALL TO YOURSELF. So instead of boarding ourselves up inside my house, Sammy and I are now perched up on top of a wet picnic table trying to stay somewhat dry, while Zoey barks madly from the ground below us. What a lovely position to be in. I'm sure I look real attractive trying to hold on to a puppy that's acting like he just took a bottle of Ritalin while also avoiding getting bit by what seems to be some demon-possessed dog with pogo stick superpowers. The dog is literally trying to jump up onto the picnic table. So of course I'm freaking out - trying out all my grown-up dog commands. "Sit!" "Stay!" "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU EVIL THING!" None of which are helping - when, out of nowhere, I see a shining ray of hope. Zoey's owner has come outside for some reason or another and is now standing in his driveway up the street watching this little nightmare unfold. I start doing this frantic arm waving thing while pointing towards Zoey and yelling "Your dog is trying to EAT my dog!" And just when I think I'm home free this is what happens: Zoey's owner looks at me and - I kid you not - shrugs. And then proceeds to walk back into his house.

What. The. Hell. What kind of owner lets his dog not only run wild but chase other dogs (and the owners of said dogs)? Come on - seriously. How hard is it to call your dog's name and get it to leave me alone? By this time Sammy is looking at my with these huge eyes as if he thinks we're never going to escape and will have to live on the picnic table for the next day and a half until my mom gets home and can chase Zoey away for us. This is about the point where The Weather (who has been laughing maniacally this whole time) decides to have some real fun with me. Remember how I don't like being wet? Well I didn't know it at the time but I was about to have a whole new understanding of the term.

I decide that Sammy and I are getting back into the house THIS VERY MINUTE. I remember that I have Sammy's treats in my raincoat and begin to formulate what I thought was The Most Brilliant Idea Ever in my head. Clearly - it was not. With a dozen puppy treats in one hand and Sammy gathered up in the other arm I throw the little bone shaped cookies as far as I can, wait a split second until Zoey runs after them, hauling ass like it's the Olympics, and then in a huge leap - jump off the picnic table and start running for the door. Well right then The Weather decides how things are going to go down and starts pelting what had to have been golf ball sized drops of liquid at me, soaking my front lawn, and seem to have also managed to alert Zoey that his captives are escaping because instantly the awful creature whips around and starts to chase down Sammy and I.

The problem with this scenario is that my lawn is shaped strangely. It has weird divots and odd random sprinklers that haven't worked since the early nineties. None of this was on my mind as I was running. However, it did cross my mind when my pant leg caught on one of these useless sprinklers and threw both Sammy and I into the small pond that had been forming in the little valley of grass in my front yard as it rained. Great. I'm drenched. Sammy is drenched. Zoey is heading toward us at the speed of light. And The Weather is laughing until his sides hurt. Luckily I was able to slip and slosh my way out of the little pond, and managed to make it to the front door and slam it before Zoey could terrorize us any further. The only good thing about the whole day was the loud thud I heard only moments after closing the door. I hope Zoey has a huge headache for the rest of the day.

*No dogs were harmed in the making of this post. Just my pride.*

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Palin/Biden Debate - Part I

Words cannot begin to describe how ridiculously excited I am for tonight's V.P. debate. Maybe about as pleased as I was when I heard that the moderator for tonight, Gwen Ifill, was not only a staunch Obama supporter but also *female*. Yay! If the Republicans try to pull any of their "Forcing Palin To Answer Genuine Questions And Prove She Deserves To Be America's Next V.P. Is Sexism" crap they will be staunchly reminded that according to their own standards the moderator, being in possession of both fallopian tubes and a pretty face, is not capable of sexism under any circumstances. So ha!

I happen to be a feminist kind of a girl and I like to revel in the fact that in Modern America, I am supposedly allowed to have it both ways. I can be both pretty and smart. I can be feminine and hard-working. I can be self-sufficient while still being respected. Just because I can open the door on my own doesn't mean its not a nice gesture-and one that I appreciate. Sarah Palin however seems to take this sentiment and twist it to all kinds of new heights. She's female, in a position of power that's way above her league, and instead of rising to the challenge and showing that she has just as much capacity to be there as any guy (not that she does in all reality - because we all saw the Katie Couric interview - but she could at least try) she's using her femininity as an excuse from having to do any real work. It's such a shame when there are SO many more educated and deserving women that could be in this position. I, quite honestly, was really hoping that Obama would pick Hillary as his running mate. I'm aware that there were complications with the matter and that it would have been a stretch for both of them but it would have been nice to see our entire party united under those two.

Anyways the point is that tonight will be one of the first times where the public is really going to see Palin the way she is. McCain won't be there to back her up (not that he does much of a good job of it anyways) and she wont be able to play off the comments of an interviewer and try to formulate answers from the details of the question she was asked (her attempt at this with regards to the Bailout Plan was quite pathetic) because from what I've seen of Iffil - she isn't going to put up with any of Palin's bs. Hopefully tonight will be a night that sways many of the swing voters to a more democratic tune.

Until the debate starts you can entertain yourself by going here. It's a website showing off Sarah Palin's brilliant mind.

Note: For those of you that are interested in hearing my comments throughout the debate tonight (cynical as they may be) you can follow me on Twitter (via the link on my side bar <---) and keep track of what I'm saying that way!